you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
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The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
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A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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