I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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