nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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