Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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