I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
