On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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