Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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