Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
