dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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