he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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