She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
