whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
In America we eat man semen.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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