is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You are the jesus of drinking
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
