I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
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she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
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I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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