I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
