It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"