explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
they're like a gay fantastic four
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.