I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy