...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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