pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
