i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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