please come you make the beer taste better
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
