I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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