My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
