On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
