Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
