you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
