it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
