I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
