I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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