finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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