I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
did you just send me my own nude
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
