I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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