I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
