Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Randomize
