Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
