How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
