did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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