ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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