We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
return my video game
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
NoShamevember. You game?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I need a beard to bite.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
