he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
