I got chris browned last night
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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