On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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