I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
