I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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