why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Everything about him screamed your future.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
