It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
