You work out of a Hotel?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
