It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
