she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just high enough for therapy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
