I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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