I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
