I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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