My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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