He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
