i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
