dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
