you guys were way drunker than both of me
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
