1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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