friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
