i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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