Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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