Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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