yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
