I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
