Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
