carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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