Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
