even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
