He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
