my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You took a bar mat shot.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
