You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
